My Name; My Identity–What is Yours?

It is said that Saudi people are ashamed of their women’s names. It is also said that Saudi men hide their wives’ names under ridiculous or ugly knick names.  Some say that Saudi women are oppressed, and they cannot express themselves freely because of social and tribal boundaries, so some Saudi women hide their real names when they write or blog.

Well… I know some will hate me for NOT being this stereotype, especially those who live and feed on distorting the image of Saudi women. To begin with, there are no secrets in my life starting from my name to my experiences and preferences. My blog represents me as the way I am in real life; a woman who wears hijab and niqab (willingly)…a mother who is struggling to raise her three children in this mad world … a loving wife, who is supported by her husband…a working woman with so many responsibilities…and a writer who is still exploring the world of writing.  My husband and my children know about this blog like all my other family members and friends.

I am so proud of my name and my identity, and I cannot understand people who express deep opinions on the internet without a real name! I might understand some who write under a nick name for security reasons related to the nature of their jobs, but those are very few.  I share my background with people on the internet because my name and background are part of my personality.  However, I am always accused of being oppressed because I can’t drive a car. I can’t see how those people, who are afraid to announce their names are not oppressed!  Real oppression lies when you express an opinion without being able to tell others who you are…for some people, it is freedom because it allows them to insult others, talk about politics, draw a glorious image about themselves without being caught, known, or proven to be liars. To me, those are just cowards who might have bad intentions and hidden agendas.

People often ask me, to which side do you belong? Liberal? Conservative? Anti-American? Anti-Saudi? But I usually don’t have a comforting answer for such questions.

My opinions are not polarized…I don’t belong to the East side or the West side; I see beauty and goodness in both sides. Some accuse me of standing for nothing since I refuse to take sides, but I believe that life is much more beautiful and more profound than black and white only.

I hate many things about Saudi Arabia, but this doesn’t mean that I hate my country. I like many things about the West, especially about America, but this doesn’t mean that I idolize America or that I am a suck up who cares for Americans’ point of view. Like many Saudis, I admit that we have many problems in KSA, but I refuse any interference from people who don’t belong to Saudi Arabia and who don’t speak the Arabic language and have never read a book in Arabic. Being from an economically and politically better country, doesn’t give anyone the right to criticize my country in a destructive way. Constructive criticism that aims at change doesn’t happen through the internet; it happens on higher levels addressing the people who have the authority to make the change really happen. People who constantly criticize Saudi Arabia don’t really care about Saudi women or Saudi reform; they care only about satisfying and preserving the stereotype that they have been brought upon throughout their lives.  In addition, some of those people’s major objective is to change Saudi Arabia to fit them. They’ve come to KSA to earn a living, but they find it hard to adapt to the Saudi culture, so their fight is basically to satisfy their needs while living in Saudi Arabia. They want the money without making any sacrifice … they want to enjoy the feeling of “home” in Saudi Arabia, and since they believe they’ve come from a superior culture, they think it’s their right to change.

If change should happen in Saudi Arabia, it should happen by Saudi hands ONLY! The American “savior attitude” doesn’t really convince me because of America’s black history with many countries such as Vietnam and  Japan. In the 20th century, American reformers and feminists used to claim for years that they want to emancipate the Japanese women and to improve the Japanese society, but then the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima said it all and expressed the real intentions of America towards Japan. I know that many Americans today condemn the brutal incident, but it  still remains part of the American history. If Americans or people from any other nation have the energy and the knowledge to make a change, they should focus their efforts on their own countries. Your countries need you, people…your countries need your great knowledge and efforts, so don’t waste your energies on us.

I’ve lived in the States and studied for a few years… I liked so many things about America. I also didn’t like so many things there, but I never went to a woman wearing a bikini and told her that this is haram! It’s another culture…another religion, and I was just a guest, so what gives me the right to judge people there or tell them what’s right and what’s not? I had only two choices; either take the best of what that culture was offering me and stick to my religion at the same time, or leave the country if it was really getting on my nerves and affecting me negatively.

My opinions don’t appeal to many Saudis either because I am not trying to please the Americans as many Saudis do. Some Saudis hate me because I am not the person who believes that all evil comes from the West. Probably, I am caught between two worlds, but I am glad that I can understand both worlds and hence understand my mission in life.

So…hide your name or reveal your true personality..it is totally up to you, and I understand the various reasons that might lead some to make such a decision, but just think of the freedom my name has given me… I may not be able to sit behind the driving wheel in a car, but I am surly not the mystery woman who hides behind the computer screen and insults people or brags about something she doesn’t have!