My Anniversary: Now and Then

Posted: April 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

On Friday, April 2nd , I celebrated my 18th anniversary according to the Arabic calendar (17 of Rabee Al-Awal, 1431 H.). This year was very different since my husband and I had two other (adults) planning it with us.

Yet going on a flashback journey to my previous anniversaries gives me the chills…how I’ve changed.. how he has changed.. how we both grew up together (literally).

First Anniversary:

We just got married officially after a year of signing the marriage contract, so that year doesn’t count…we celebrated our freedom from our parents’ interference …that was enough at that time J

Second Anniversary:

I was pregnant with my first child…We were so excited to have our first baby, and we agreed on the name on that day…It was a quiet at-home celebration with a home-made simple cake. I didn’t want to take any picture because I hate the way I look when I am pregnant, but my husband insisted on taking a few pictures, which turned out to be a lovely memory. We danced a lot, though…we danced with the melodies of our favorite song Kalimat (Words) by Majida AlRoumi…See video and a translation of the song

I also dedicated a song to my husband …won’t translate it, so I won’t destroy its beauty …It is taken from a comedy starring the amazing Egyptian actor Rushdi Abaza and wonderful singer Shadya

Third Year:

We already had our first child by that time…he was about 10 months then…So…we had different plans…I made some simple invitation cards and sent them to my mother, father and two brothers…I also sent invitation cards to my mother-in-law and father-in-law, and two sisters-in-law…I wore my wedding dress and my husband wore his formal thobe and mishlah…we had a wedding assembly or (zafah) accompanied with the traditional Egyptian wedding song دقوا المزاهر which I didn’t have in my real wedding…My husband bought me an amazing diamond necklace, which I still have and wear on different occasions. It was lots of fun for everyone, especially with my young son calling for me to carry him while I was in my wedding dress …

The next day, my husband and I went to Hilton Hotel to enjoy a romantic stay for one night away from our son, whom we left with my mother.

For the next couple of years, our financial conditions weren’t very good, so we had very small and in-house celebrations that included only me and my husband, without any gifts of course J However, we were very happy and never thought that we were missing out on anything.

On our sixth anniversary, I was pregnant with our second child, so we had a simple party. I planned it alone, and he planned it alone. Each one of us thought the other has forgotten the day, but we were both equally surprised. We celebrated our sixth year and our new house which we moved to a few months earlier.

Eighth Year:

No celebration…I was so occupied with presenting my final master’s dissertation, and my husband was so busy with a new business project he had started. It was a gloomy year for both of us, not just because we didn’t celebrate, but because we were both overwhelmed by so many things to do and so many responsibilities. Having two kids; one of them had just started school and the other was a baby who needed all the care plus a student-mother, was definitely not an easy life. Yet it was our choice, and we were ready to live in the real world.  I was disappointed, though.. I expected a flower at least, but we both weren’t in the mood to do anything special. Life is not a fairytale …I came to realize…wasn’t bothered by the truth…

The years that followed swung between in-house simple celebrations and traveling to different countries like Egypt , Spain , and the States.

Giving or receiving gifts wasn’t the most important thing…traveling or celebrating at home didn’t really make a difference …all what made the difference was our feelings…At times, I would forget the anniversary, and he would surprise me with a rose or some chocolates…At other times, my husband would forget the anniversary, and I would kindly remind him, and then we would go out for a romantic dinner…sometimes I would cook a delicious meal and lit the candles at home…once he steps foot in the house, I play some soft music and surprise him… he usually feels embarrassed when I remember while he doesn’t , but it doesn’t really matter because I know that my husband is not one of the “rich and idle” men who has nothing to do but count the stars in my eyes and count my lovely smiles. Actually, if he were of that kind, I wouldn’t have lived with him J

This year (as always), he was kind and generous enough to make Mother’s Day an unforgettable day for me, so I decided to surprise him on our 18th anniversary which happened to be two weeks after Mother’s Day.

My husband has a very fine taste, and it is very difficult to choose a gift for him. Choosing a gift for men is usually very difficult because the choices are very limited (in my opinion); it’s either a watch, a pen, a tie, or ….a car. I bought him a watch on one of our previous anniversaries, so the watch is ruled out. A pen….well… I did that too…a car…hmmm…he’s the man…he should buy the expensive giftsJ

Finally.. I decided to buy him a Black Berry…He has been using one old mobile for the last 7 years, so it’s time for a new one for sure!

Yet my plans didn’t go as I expected. Some little devils interfered and reminded my husband of our anniversary. Last week, he told me that next week will be our anniversary… However, on Thursday he completely forgot… we actually had a very busy day … Yet my daughter asked him a sneaky question: What’s the day tomorrow, Dady?” He said, “April 2nd” “No…the Arabic date!” she said. He said, “I can’t really remember…why don’t we go and check the calendar?

They went…she left him alone and sneaked out slowly with a wicked expression on her face as my husband told me later. On Thursday, my son asked his father the same question, but my husband was cleverer this time. He said “I don’t know and I don’t care” He said it on purpose, of course.

When I first woke up on Friday, I told my daughter to hide the gift that I bought for my husband…I thought I was clever. I called my in-laws (father and mother-in-law) and invited them to have dinner with us at a restaurant…They had no idea about my plans, but they agreed on going out with us. When my daughter heard me inviting her grandparents, she looked at me with amazement saying “isn’t this supposed to be romantic?” I told her that “romantic” for me has many different meanings. Being with family members on such an occasion is a blessing, which is more than the word “romantic” can give.

At the restaurant, it was time to announce the reason for this gathering… the reason for me insisting on going to a certain restaurant…I revealed the secret, but the little devils have already blown my surprise! I was surprised that my husband bought me a gift ( a Chopard watch)…it was not fair! I wanted to surprise him! By the way , I never heard of the name Chopard before, but it turned out to be one of those luxury watches that I used to see in the magazine ads.

His father and mother were so grateful and happy that we took them out on our anniversary, and the kids enjoyed their time seeing the hidden gifts revealed. My husband was so grateful and overwhelmed that I invited his parents on such a special occasion.

In the evening, we returned home, the kids went to sleep, and we went to our special restaurant…so we had our romantic night after all, but we made many people happy that day, not just the two of us…when we returned home, we listened to an old favorite song…(don’t go)

It was one of the best anniversaries that I have ever celebrated…sharing our anniversary with others was a brilliant idea…

Even if it were a simpler celebration without any gifts, I would have appreciated it greatly. The secret is in the way we feel and react to things that happen to us. Unfortunately, many young wives these days fight and make scenes when their wishes are not granted or when their busy husbands forget their special occasions. It takes patience to teach a man how to treat you the way you deserve, but first, you should work hard to earn the treatment that you want. Remember…his mother has taught him for years to respect her…you need to teach him for the coming years how to love and respect you. Even if he loves you (and they all do at first), you should continue to help this love grow. It’s an ongoing job, and the reward is not always instant.

A happy marriage needs two mature loving people who compete with each other to please one another.

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Comments
  1. saudimajix says:

    congrats ^.^

    wish you both all the best.

  2. Chiara says:

    This is lovely, and shows the evolution of a positive relationship.

    Happy Anniversary to you both!

  3. Om Lujain says:

    Congratulations. That was such a touching post! The love you and your husband share is lovely… you showed that through the good and the bad you were always in one anothers heart, mind, and soul. Oghbal many many many years of happiness for the two of you enshallah!

  4. Murtadha says:

    this is very lovely..
    Happy Anniversary for both of you.
    reading this post bring a smile and happiness to us so thank you for sharing it

  5. مها نور إلهي says:

    thanks Murtadha…and thank you for the positive energy you always try to spread in your blog 🙂

  6. TTGore says:

    I stumbled across your blog and read this…and was so inspired! As my husband and I inch closer to our 10th anniversary (in July) I have been reflecting as well. Your blog truly spoke with the wisdom and truth of one who understands the art and science of what I call wifedom. 😉

    I especially loved this part…

    A happy marriage needs two mature loving people who compete with each other to please one another.

    In fact the whole last paragraph touch me so I copied it to remind my self of the wisdom in it. Thank you for sharing this with the world. It is truly a blessing.

    Happy anniversary and congratulations!

  7. Usman says:

    !شادی مبارک

  8. naeema says:

    I loved how you remembered every little detail. Your husband is truly blessed. Actually, both of you are equally blessed! I loved it!

  9. hania says:

    i just found your blog and this post was sooooooooo lovely to read. i am nearing my 4 anniversary and reading this post made me realize whats more important then lavish gifts. thanks

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