J String!

Posted: December 1, 2009 in My Articles

J String!

I hate to disappoint my readers because my article is not going to be about the you-know-what string! The string that you are thinking of doesn’t exist in my dictionary because I’m a good girl, and because I don’t like people who have dirty minds. So get that G-string out of your head and focus on my J-string. Assumingly, you’ve formed a negative idea about me from the words above, and that’s where the J-string starts. It starts in our minds, develops in our minds according to our limited understanding, and then spreads to the whole society as if it were the bare truth.  Judging others after having very few encounters with them is our aching habit. It’s like a string of misleading interpretations of others; every off-putting judgment leads to another, which makes our lives a series of unfair first impressions.  Unfortunately, the problem is exasperated when we tend to rely on our first impressions and our faulty judgments, which are based on appearances, gender, family background, and country or city.

If a lady is wearing (Hijab) with (neqab), she is oppressed and has no freedom of choice. If another lady is not wearing Hijab, she is free to some and cursed by others. If a girl is wearing Hijab, we assume that she is ugly and has something to hide, and probably cannot afford to dress up in a trendy style. If another girl is dressed up in a fashionable way, she is probably showing off or is planning on catching a husband.

If an employee succeeds at work and gets a promotion, he is definitely a suck-up; “don’t you remember all those hours he used to be at the manager’s office?”

If a female writer writes about love, she must be in love, and if she writes about women’s rights, she must have had a frustrating love affair with a man who dumped her for a younger woman.

If a woman is pretty, she is an air-head, and if she is successful, she must be a failure as a wife or mother.

If a man is Lebanese or Egyptian, he must be very kind and gentle with his wife, but if he is Saudi or Kuwaiti, he must be a womanizer or a drunkard who beats his wife day and night.

If a woman is British, she must be cold and arrogant, but if she is French, she is elegant and attractive.

If a girl sneaks away from a gathering to have a conversation on her mobile, she is most likely to be having a secret love affair with a married man (I wonder why no one interprets this behavior as an act of mobile etiquette!)

If a man takes his wife to have a romantic dinner, he is surly cheating on her and is trying to cover up his nasty secret!

If an acquaintance doesn’t reply to your email, they must be doing it on purpose because you are starting to mean nothing to them.

Our J-string continues to grow harsher, more serious, or more ridiculous depending on the situation, but in all cases it continues to happen. It seems that everyone is obsessed with everybody else’s business, and we _whether we like it or not_ are part of this demeaning and dehumanizing behavior as long as we keep watching it silently without doing something to stop it. I wonder why we keep busying ourselves with other people’s business; people whom we really don’t care about while we ignore the important details about the closest people to our hearts! I wonder why we keep judging others according to our limited understanding and knowledge of them, yet we never pause to ponder about our imperfections, losses, successes, and achievements that need to be fulfilled!

  1. Mai says:

    LOL! As a parent, I find myself always telling children, “Worry about yourself!” The reality is, we need to tell adults that. So much hinges on the unalterable truth that ultimately we will be questioned about what WE have done. Not our spouses, children, parents, neighbors, etc. That in itself it a heavy load to answer for.

    I am sure that if we focus on doing our best to be what Allah wants us to be, we will all end up as bricks in a wall for each other, encouraging to the good. Criticism and judgment of others is a huge waste of valuable time, energy, and mind power. After all, we aren’t able to issue a Decree on our own outcome, let alone someone else. their final outcome.

    Subhaan Allah! What ever happened to making 70 excuses for your brother/sister? Even taking the time to make one excuse is usually enough to send the harsh accusations and bad interpretations of their actions packing.

    Something that has been focal in my dealing and patience with others is that we all have different stages of development in Islam. Just as I went through all kinds of stages of growth, learning, emaan, and levels of taqwa, so must I understand everyone else will, too. The timeline isn’t in my hands, but Allah’s. What a blessed relief!

    The J string is a sickening thing. Bi ithn Allah, we will nurture and dispense of the mercy within ourselves again…so Allah will have Mercy on us – ameen.

  2. مها نور إلهي says:

    Thank you so much for your insightful input!
    It’s wonderful to know people who think like you!

  3. Chiara says:

    Great topic and metaphor for its elaboration. Being judgmental is limiting to oneself and restrictive toward others. As you describe, once one starts unspooling that string one only continues to get more judgmental and rigid.

    • مها نور إلهي says:

      Thanks, Chiara for your insightfull comment.
      And I think we should try to stop it whenever we could.

  4. Eisha Saleh says:

    You said it sister!
    I have a fashion label “baraka women” and because we use colour and trendy styles we often are targets for abuse on how unislamic we are…so sad that we cant see the benefits we all provide to our communities.

    • Outcast says:

      In Islam, women modest clothing is best expressed in flowing, formless, solid black robe, that covers her feet, stretches to the palm, and comes up close to the neck. A hijab or head covering should covers her chest area. The hands and face are the only parts of the body that can be shown/seen- (personal preference of course). Clothing cannot be transparent, ornamented or perfumed.

      The Islamic covering means the degree of dress required by the Sharee’ah. Required women’s dress in the Sharee’ah must meet eight conditions as follows:-

      1. The whole body must be covered except for the oval of the face and the two hands.

      2. The material itself must not be decorative.

      3. It must be thick enough to be completely opaque.

      4. It must be loose enough as not to make clear the shape of her body.

      5. She must never wear perfume in public.

      6. It must not resemble the dress of men.

      7. Or resemble the dress of disbelieving women.

      8. It must not be ostentatious.

    • مها نور إلهي says:

      I understand your frustration, but keep on doing the good work. your designs are amazing, but some might not suit some.
      thank you

  5. مها نور إلهي says:

    Thanks for your comment and explanation, but Islamic scholars have different views on the color of Hijab.

  6. Hanan says:

    loved your post!
    and am now an official follower =)

  7. مها نور إلهي says:

    Thanks for your sweet words , Hanan.
    I am glad that you liked my blog 🙂

  8. Maha Noor Elahi says:

    Reblogged this on .

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