A List of Women; the Elite!

Posted: March 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

Warning: This is a very personal and long article, so if you’re not interested in my personal experience, don’t go on reading.

It’s 2012!

It’s the 8th of March!

It’s Women’s International Day!

And against all odds, I am celebrating this day in my own way; an early breakfast at Theatro Lounge with my soul mate, Majdoleen Nazer, who is the outreach and business development associate in The Islamic Development Bank Group.

A very girly talk between two mature women it was, and as usual, being with my “bestie” is very inspiring!

The intimate gathering ended after three hours with a strong conviction!

Smiling to each other, we had this deep realization that we are happy, strong, and independent women! Men or no men, we are satisfied the way we are because we know who we really are and have this deep profound belief that no one has the power or ability to define who we are  !

It was a long journey indeed! Beautiful yet very not easy! (Don’t expect me to say that I have become the president or consultant of any place at the end of this article!) I am talking about the journey into my self!

Why am I celebrating today and what am I celebrating? I am celebrating being a blessed and lucky woman, surrounded by amazing women!

“A woman is another woman’s worst enemy!” That’s a rumor that some men (or actually chauvinists) like to spread in order to be in control of women! But women in 2012 don’t buy it anymore!

When I look back at my life many years ago, I find several remarkable women and only two men, my father and my husband!

Despite the male domination in this country…despite the messed up situation of women here…despite the upside down priorities in almost everything in this place….despite the superficial and non-productive people who get most of the media coverage in this country, we_ real & average women_ are surviving strongly every after!

I am defiantly lucky to have a very compassionate father and a cooperative supportive husband!

Yet the journey of a woman (in order to be this full human being) must have other women as well, and certainly not “any” women!

Naturally, there were a lot of women in my life!

The jealous…the braggart ….the envious ….the negative…and the “will-always-put-you-down” ones!

Never heard of these types? Perhaps you are exceptionally lucky living on planet Mars!

Why am I mentioning them? They were part of my life, and they led me to resist being like them one day! I could have been something like that if I gave in to being a woman in the way that our male-dominated society instills in us from early childhood!

But I guess… again…I was lucky (still am!)

My career began with an unplanned spontaneous meeting with the dynamic, assertive, and not-easy-to-please Tania Tahlawi, who was the principal of Jeddah Private Schools in 2000.

Just by reading my CV and chatting with me for an hour, she “believed” in me! “You are rare breed!” she said! I don’t know if she still remembers those words, but I have never forgotten them and till this day, her words push me to be up to what she saw in me!

She wanted to hire me immediately, but I had to go through some tests and I had to meet the classy extraordinary, Mrs. Mariam Ghalayini, who soon became my first boss. Yet I never felt the word “boss” really suits her superb personality; a mentor and genuine leader suits her much more!

And then there was Madam Laila Sabbah, the very big tough boss and the owner of the school, whom everyone was and still is afraid of! It was difficult for her to like me at first (mutual feelings by the way), but now she believes in me, and I look up to her as a unique businesswoman who taught me a great deal, not just about work but about life as well! It took both of us a rather long time to reach this phase! :)

Ms. Tania, Mrs. Mariam, and Madam Laila have formed a turning point in my life. Maybe they were never aware of it, but they did that by just being themselves and by putting their trust in me when I was a young inexperienced newbie!

They believed in me and gave me a chance to be who I can be!

There was also Dr. Hayat Sindi, whom I met a few times only but was influenced tremendously by her encouraging words to me!

Years passed and things changed as they should in any normal life. I went to Dar Al-Hekma College seeking a new experience, and there I got to know an exceptional woman, Dr. Suhair Al-Qurashi!

And again I was blessed! She believed in me! She empowered me on the professional level and mostly on the personal level!

And I guess by now, people who have been following my blog, know very well what Dr. Suhair means to me.*See links below

Those women, as much as they have and will always have the greatest impact on me, are only a few!

There was my third boss, Mrs. Nada Mardini, and my fourth boss, Mrs. Fatima Bayoumi, who are two of the most professional and extraordinary women I have met in my life!

Apart from being fair, ethical, very productive, and always up-to-date, they did this simple thing that all the great women in my life have done; they believed in me!

How simple yet effective can that be! Unfortunately, many ignore the fact that women can really empower each other!

Today, like every day, I celebrate being a woman, not because I have all my rights..not because I am a first class citizen as I should be…but because I am blessed with women who believe in me…surrounded by women who have risen above the normal womanly trivialities.

And the list is long…the list of the amazing women in my life includes all my friends and my colleagues at work .The list includes all the amazing women who have had an influence on me and on others …who have touched me deeply…who have contributed to my insight and perception of life…to them I am thankful and grateful!

And here goes my list (besides the names mentioned above of course):

Ghada Al-Kousi: my calm, confident, and very hard-working Egyptian friend and colleague since 2001.

Jihan Al-Bayati: my amazing and very powerful yet humorous Iraqi colleague and friend…I can’t just ignore the fact that she’s a living encyclopedia, too!

Mariam Malki: my “recently-discovered relative”, and my cheerful, positive friend and colleague :)

Linda Yamak: my Lebanese friend and colleague and former editor-in-chief of Noor Al-Hekma magazine. With her, work was like paradise! We were the best team because of her serenity and soothing smile!

Dr. Ishrat Suri: a great professional and knowledgable mentor and colleague from Pakistan. A truly “rich” human being in every sense!

Karen Palmer: my very active and sportive American friend and colleague. She’s a beautiful and honest human being! Knowing her is a blessing!

Nabeelah Al-Ansari: the warm-hearted mother and colleague…always cheerful and peaceful like as any true Muslim should be.

Kim Abdullah: the dedicated, creative and very professional colleague that I am proud to know!

Sebah Al-Ali: the youngest colleague and friend in our department. She brought life and energy to all of us! She adds creativity and insight to everyone and everything she does!

Mona Nagor: our young Saudi assistant…such a lovely respectful soul and very hard-working!

Mae Zantout: my sweet Lebanese friend who used to be my officemate …unluckily she doesn’t work with us anymore, but she will always be remembered for her exquisiteness and dedication!

Reema Dohan: former coordinator of Noor Al-Hekma and one of the rare Saudi qualifications! Working with her is always challenging yet smooth! She left her job temporarily to be able to take care of her kids and her new born baby! Respectable, sweet, and professional with a smile that never leaves her face!

As I am writing, I recall all the lovely women whom I have know in my life, and my list grows longer and longer!

It includes all the wonderful women that I’ve known, and to my pleasant surprise, I’ve just realized that the amazing women whom I know are much more than the normal stereotypes of women in my life!

Perhaps I need to include all the members of Dar Al-Hekma to be fair! Yes! I am that lucky! I work with few of the best women in Jeddah, Saudis and non-Saudis!

And I must include Sahar Hejazi, the copy center officer, who greets everybody with a smile every morning despite the loads of work she has! Throughout my years at DAH, I’ve never seen her grumpy or complaining! God bless her!

Maybe very few people know the names in my list though some of them are well-known, but that’s the case with treasures. You have to dig for them to enjoy their shine!

Those are “real” women! Non-media polished women! They are hard-working employees! They are wives and mothers who really take good care of their families! They work inside-out!

I can’t also ignore the huge role that my students play in my life!

Yes! They make my life better! They make me happier and make me feel younger and more energetic! They urge me constantly (without being aware) to give more and to interact with my inner soul and to be proud of the influence I have on them! It’s truly a mutual relationship! I learn from them as much as I teach them!

Other beautiful young souls have also touched me deeply! Young Saudi poetesses, writers, and artists have always been an inspiration! Amongst them is my best friend Najla Hussein, who is a computer programmer and a very sensitive poetess (a rare mix I guess!)

And here’s a list of truly distinguished young women that I have come to know …each one of them has added to me a great deal and I am very grateful!

Dr. Maram Makkawi (one of the best Saudi writers. She writes in Al-Watan Newspaper…an honest charming person indeed!)

Reem Tayeb (a highly educated, knowledgeable & witty housewife)

Fouzz Al-Jameel (an inspiring artist)

Masheal Al-Ammari (journalist)

Ehsan Fahmi (programmer and writer)

Safiya Al-Jifri (specialized in Islamic studies …remember this name very well! She will make a huge difference one day!)

Other amazing women whom I am grateful to know are my Canadian friend and outstanding writer, Chiara Alma, my American friend and blogger,Tara , and my Singaporean fellow blogger, Deborah Choo.

I am also really grateful to my maid, Noura (actually to all the maids that worked for me!) Without them, I couldn’t have had the time to work and take care of myself and family! I believe these less fortunate women, who have left their kids, husbands and countries to seek a better financial level, deserve recognition and appreciation as much as any political or social activist!

If I have nothing to celebrate on Women’s International Day, I have a very good reason to celebrate everyday because I know a bunch of the best “real” independent women, who work more than they talk and who live inconstant struggle to achieve at home and at work!

I am thankful to each one of you and to all the many women who were not included in this post.

I am mostly grateful and proud to be the daughter of a simply one of a kind woman; my mother Dr. Hanan Abdul Jabbar! Yet I believe she should be in a separate post for her only!

Last but not least, I am really grateful to a bright dynamic young woman; my daughter Reem!

*****

I am proud to be a woman and to know outstanding women/girls like you!

Thank you for empowering me!

*************

Related Links:College of Love

http://www.aneyeonsaudi.org/2010/03/07/college-of-love-by-maha-noor-elahi/

The League of Positive Women

http://saudirevelations.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/the-league-of-positive-women/

Ambivalent Grief!

Posted: February 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

“A goddess!

A lioness!

You’re the perfect female for me!

The one who pleases the man in me!”

Those were your words to me!

But you left me weaponless

With ambivalent grief!

You left your goddess

Full of suppressed tears!

Not knowing how or what to feel

When I am out of love!

Which makes me wonder

How many goddesses you need

To be a human & believe

In the beauty of love!

Was I deceived by the charm of imagination?

I thought I was your devilish angel

Your rare feverish combination

But you just flew with a cruel notification!

Leaving me in the messiest situation!

With indecisive feelings

With ambivalent grief!

Should I hate you or should I thank you?

Should I fight, should I beg?

Or should I just be a man and forget?

Was it noble of you?

Or were you just like the other “dudes?”

What was I to you?

Did I really have that exotic hue?

And now what am I to do?

How am I to feel without you?

Is that so hard to answer?

Or you don’t have the answers?

But I guess by now

The lesson is learned;

Mercury hearts can never be caught

Once they’re gone,

They will never come back!

“Want more of you!

Can never get enough of you!

Want to do all the things to you!

Want to do all the things with you!”

Those were your words when you were you!

You left me numb!

Feeling dumb!

A worthless goddess!

A clawless lioness!

A voiceless diva!

In endless shiva!

You left me neutral

Wounded on the borderline

With a wavering bond

And an ambivalent heart & mind!

Should I hate you or should I thank you?

Should I fight, should I beg?

Should I take revenge?

And play with men?

Fake a fling?

Or just pretend

That I don’t care?

Accept the end

And say it was fair?

But I guess by now

The lesson is learned;

Mercury hearts can never be caught

Once they’re gone,

They will never come back!

You’ve raised my standards and made me sway!

Now all the guys just seem so gray!

You’ve lift my heart then walked away!

You know it’s cruel!

You’re no gentleman!

But I guess I know

You’ll never understand

That once in love,

Your heart never comes back!

February 18, 2012

Once upon a time,
A girl at her prime
Willingly stepped into a lion’s den
Enchanted by the world of men!

She wandered there ….unaware
Of heartbreaks lying everywhere!
Believing she could be the guiding light
For a man who needs her loving insight.

She smoothly slipped there ….unaware
Of voices echoing an advice everywhere:
“In a man’s shell
Don’t try to dwell”!

Unable to resist the slippery temptation,
She delved for love and appreciation.
Gladly she found her dream in the dim
Foolishly thinking she is the same to him!

But he wasn’t a love seeker,
Nor was he a romantic speaker.
He was merely a man, whose life could go on,
Without the love of a coddled infatuated swan.

She wilted there …this time aware
Of the voices that echoed everywhere:
“In a man’s hell,
Who dares to dwell?”

Saturday, April 26, 2003

A Saudi September


By Mohammad Alrotayyan
Translated by Maha Noor Elahi

(This is a translation of a poem by the amazing Saudi writer Mohammad Al-Rotayyan…It’s one the sincerest things I’ve read about Saudi Arabia!)

You can find the Arabic link here http://www.alrotayyan.com/articles.php?action=show&id=150

You will find some mistakes in the English version in the link provided and this is because I translated it instantly and it was posted on Al-Rotayyan’s website immediately after I had translated it….I also left one stanza without translation as I felt it might not be understood in other cultures) :)  

**********************

My country is neither a palace, nor an oil well, nor is it a terrorist.
My country; open homes for unknown guests.
My country; gateways calling passers-by.

My country is neither a palace, nor an oil well, nor is it a terrorist.

My country; modest kind people,
Who open their doors to a stranger…a night visitor…
Prepare him a rich feast…grant him all his needs,
And then let him go… without a question posed.

In my country…annoying matters there are
And delightful pleasant ones,
Yet for me it remains, in spite of its roughness,
The noblest of Allah’s creations;
The most prominent land of all lands.

My country is not a salary at the end of the month;
It’s my treasure from the beginning of existence till the end.
My country is not a national anthem in an official event;

It’s my favorite song which I reiterate, memorize by heart,
And sway with the rhythm of its love.

My country; a prayer call that penetrates the sky
And soars in a space voyage
That all the NASA gears can never generate.

My country: the first Holy Mosque…
The purest soil on which one can pray.

My country is always so shy to say: “I love you”
Yet it makes you feel every sense of the word!

My country; coarse men of the grinding desert,
Who turn into tribes of sweet rivers…
Who turn into children
When they fall in love,
Seeking a remote resort
To release their tender tears
From the prisons of their eyes.

All those cement blocks will be a wreck
All those steel bars will rust
And the oil will dry one day,
But my country; people who never give way
Whose hearts don’t rust
And the springs of their souls never dry.

I’ll hold the flag
And shout at the ignorant world’s face:
My country is neither a palace, nor an oil well, nor is it a terrorist!

Every year….
Every September….

Every day….

May you remain….

My lover….my lady, and my country.

Poems of Rage!

Posted: September 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

Assassin…assassin!!

A resurrecting assassin you are!!

A vulnerable shell

You have attacked;

You have revived!

No weapon was needed…

Just a being who understands!

But tell me, love…

Why step forward

When you know

That you will withdraw?

Why invade the shell?

Why evolve its charm,

Its wildness, and its hell,

And then recall

What’s right and wrong?

Why open your heart,

Reveal your masks,

And then repent,

Or actually, pretend

To be someone else?

How can you elude

After assassinating a dull life,

And resurrecting a dead mind?

How can you escape from such a crime?

I just wonder…

Will you ever be able to obliterate the stains?

Will you ever be able to overcome your chains?

 

 

Too many roles you perform…

None of them fits your lost soul!

But the last one was the worst of all!

For after being the thief,

You’ve transformed

Into a rigid priest,

An illegitimate judge

That blames and condemns,

And looks from above

At the victim

With the eye of contempt!

In your unjust court of love,

You sentenced me

To an everlasting confusion!

Guilty, guilty, guilty as charged!

For committing love!

For burning from within!

 

January 12th, 2006

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soft Tips for Tough Guys!

Posted: September 12, 2011 in My Articles

We all know the marriage vows that state: “Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?”

Simple words, please!

Do we even know what these well-said sentences mean in daily life? Here are some tips that I like to call love and marriage ethics that the vows and regulations don’t explain. They are small details, but they matter a lot in a woman’s life.

Sometimes, guys treat their girls as their buddies…they treat them the way they treat other “guys”! And they think since it’s ok with the guys, it’s also ok with the girls! Well…that’s where all the problems start!

You’re not a cool guy nor a tough “manly” man if you don’t know what annoys girls…Living peacefully with your wife/fiancé starts by avoiding the things that drive women up the wall!

So here goes….

*Do you have a good sense of humor? If you’re involved in a relationship, think again before you crack a joke in the presence of your wife or fiancé. Studies have shown that women get annoyed by male-natured jokes. Women tend to be very aggressive when they are the butt of the joke. They seem not to get it, but actually they do get it quite well…that’s why they get upset.

*”We’re going out diving…we’re having some friends for dinner”…Well.. .. these are things you used to do when you were “alone” but not anymore. Making any decision that involves your partner must involve them too…Don’t make decisions without consulting her. It’s just rude and annoying to invite someone home or decide to go on a trip without talking to the person who lives with you in the same house!

*She hates the guts of your best friend…and it hurts so badly…”Why can’t she see him the way I do? How can she hate someone who is that wonderful?” you wonder. Well…she has her own heart, you know, which is separate from yours. Just because she’s in love with you, it doesn’t mean that she must fall in love with your friends, your pajamas, or your mobile…you can still keep your friend of course…but make sure to keep the two away because, eventually, you are going to lose one of them…don’t impose your friends on your wife or fiancé.

*A very stupid and traditional idea about couples is the idea of having to make the same order at a restaurant. Think about it…if you like shrimps, for instance, but she doesn’t, does that make of her a bad mate? It’s just a matter of taste…you two are not twins living in the same womb! Who said you have to eat the same thing?

*Don’t share her secrets with anyone! Don’t share her silly laughs, her bad moments…the way she looks in the morning…her strange habits….this is simply not your area ..not part of your possessions…Danger zone!…don’t go there unless you want to lose her trust forever!

*To some men, their fiancés or wives are celebrities; they have nothing to talk about except them! When they are with their friends or family members the wife/fiancé is always the best and hottest topic! Sorry to disappoint you guys, but this is also out of your domain…no signal…get it?

*Do you want to kill your gal without being charged of any crime? Just praise other women in front of her, especially at the beginning of your marriage/relation…I don’t mean other women like your mother or your sisters (although it might fall under the danger zone for some girls)…I mean …you know what i mean…you do it all the time guys, and it just kills girls even if some of them don’t express it. According to girls’ book of love, this is betrayal! Igniting your wife’s/fiancé’s jealousy really sucks! It simply turns your loving, caring girl into a cold, careless person…or worse; it might turn her into a wild cat that attacks everybody including you!

One last tip: If your wife is acting cold or crazy, it doesn’t always mean she’s “PMSing”…it might be something you did! Think about what you’ve done before blaming her madness on hormones!

These are just basic tips for you guys out there…the rest is left to your intelligence and charm!

Bloody Lover!

Posted: September 9, 2011 in My Poems

Don’t think you’ll be with me forever! 
Don’t think I’ll always be your sweet lover!

I’m not an angel undercover
I’m just a damn bloody lover

I can be cold
I can be bold
I can be gross

As worse as it could get

And that’s not a shy threat

Cause I’m just a bloody lover!

Try and make me jealous
And I’ll be bloody monstrous,

Atrocious,

And scandalous!

If you can’t handle my womanly sensitivity,

Then you don’t deserve my wanton creativity!

Don’t act like Mr. Innocent!

Don’t be so arrogantly confident…

You’re just another guy of intellect!

You’re always offline!

Or busy online!

You don’t have time!

Except when you’re gambling with my feeling

Well baby it’ll make me hit the regret ceiling!

Please, control your geeky manipulation

I’m sick of your mercury swingy situation!

‘Cause it’s no good for my feminine inflation!

And it’ll surly take me to the bye-bye station!

I’m not an angel undercover!
I’m just a damn bloody lover!

I can be cold!
I can be bold!
I can be gross!

As worse as it could get

And that’s not a shy threat

Cause I’m just a bloody lover!

Friday, September 9, 2011